Woffo is a free township located in the Kern Valley, between the borders of New Kernville and Bodfish. It acts as a middle zone for traders from Bodfish and New Kernville to do their business and enjoy the town's other attractions.

Recently, it has been receiving many troops from the NKV militia, who are technically on leave. However, their leave consists of patrolling Woffo territories and generally being pains to Bodfishers.

Woffo is located where Wofford Heights used to be and consists of mostly Pre-War buildings being used as houses. In contrast, ancient businesses serve as locations for new ones. The Town Hall, for example, is inside the Old Elks Lodge, and the Woffo Militia is centred in the old Petro-Chico Gas Station next door.


Harlie's Market

Harlie's Market is a fairly big store, with a Brahmin area outside for NKV and Bodfish traders. The inside caters mostly to locals but also caters to travellers and traders alike. Harlie's sells mostly food and clothing and keeps a stock of casual weaponry and some more heavy weapons for those who know the password.

Town Hall

Town Hall is located along main street Woffo, with two militia members outside at all times. It has a large central space for the rare town meetings, usually only held during times of crisis or severe punishment. The militia is ordered to bring any criminals back to the Hall to face public humiliation and torture, depending on the crime in question.

Upstairs is a room where the mayor operates. Inside is a desk chock full of Whiskey, Healing Powder, and Slasher and a cabinet with various weapons, including a light Assault Rifle and Riot Shotgun.

The residential district directly behind the town hall and lower on the hill on which the town is set upon, referred to as "The Ghetto", is full of thugs, drugs, and other less savoury activities. The mayor allows all of this to run in exchange for cuts of the action.

Militia Building

The militia keeps its' armory at the old Petro-Chico gas station and repair shop. The station's store is where they keep their Light Assault Rifles, 10mm. Pistols and suits of light Combat Armor painted Yellow and Orange. The old mechanic shop houses several working Securitrons and Mr. Gutsies that are only ever put on patrol in times of emergency. They, too, are painted yellow and orange. The armour and robots are fluorescent at night, taking minuses at sneak during the night-time.

Bernadello's Bordello

Bernadello operates a brothel from a pre-War storage area where anyone's pleasures can be found for a price. Bernadello keeps his mercenary army, which is stationed in two of the storage units. There is a bar on the area's upper slope. The hookers and strippers sell their services in the lower area, which has several storage containers that have been converted into bedrooms and private showrooms but live elsewhere.

The mercenaries under Bernadellos control paint their Leather Armor with Green stripes on the sleeves, and Red crescent moons on the back, Bernadello's symbol.

The 4-Square Church

The 4-Square Church has been abandoned for decades in this pleasure Town. Recently, a group of people known as the Followers of the Apocalypse bought the building from the mayor, setting up the First Hospital in Woffo. Mostly, they see bullet and stab wounds. However, they also deal with diseases that seem rampant in the area and cater to chemical addictions and radiation sickness. Its current problem seems to be a rash of a fatal disease that spreads quicker than usual amongst outside traders and soldiers.

NCR Outpost Whiskey

The local NCR outpost is located outside of Woffo Prior, a half a mile out of town borders in the cemetery house. The NCR Outpost has a battalion of soldiers stationed here to monitor squads going into Woffo, Bodfish, and New Kernville. They try to keep the boys away from the Whores of Woffo, but their warnings are mostly ignored. Which has lead to a number of their troops ending up in 4-Square.

The Hideout

As it is affectionately known, the Den used to cater only to Wasteland punks and psychotic trash. It was a place home to stabbings, chem abuse, and sometimes even rape of the people living around the building. When the NCR rolled through and drove off most of the raider teams, it has settled down and changed face into a tough guy bar. Wasteland wanderers and caravan guards favour this place. It still caters to the occasional thug who may or may not be a raider. The crime rate has gone down in the place but is not gone completely.

Lillian's Emporium

Lillian's emporium sells Pre-War stuff. Furniture, Rugs, Clothes, Works of Art, all sorts of pre-War things for expensive tastes. It is unknown how this stuff is gotten, but the store has a heavy, private security force. They wear Red Metal Armor and Wield Heavy Assault Rifles. People that shop there usually comment on how they watch people when they pass the basement door.

Master's Blasters

A veteran recently discharged from the NCR Army on account of injuries opened the Master's Blasters store in Wofford Heights. It was a tattoo parlour before, but it now serves as an expert weaponry store. It sells mostly military equipment, such as service rifles and sniper rifles; it also sells Heavy Armor, and low-Grade energy weapons, along with explosives. It caters to the area's caravan guards and mercenaries but is looked upon with suspicion by the town militia.

People of Interest

Mayor Monty-Meyers

Charles Monty-Meyers is Mayor supreme of Woffo. He used to be the head thug, using his team of thugs and former raiders to take what he wanted from groups weaker than him. He is short, wears an ancient, Pre-War Hawaiin Button up, with Khaki Capris and a Straw Beach hat. He also wears Authority Glasses for the coolness they instill.

His opinion of the NCR is fluid, much like his opinion of the other settlements in the valley. He cares not for greater allegiances than his own, which is to the Pleasure-Town atmosphere of Woffo. He worked long and hard to establish a pleasure/Trade town where he could acquire anything he needed, from drugs to weaponry, right under anybody's nose.

He now wants to turn an even greater profit from it by getting an NCR gambling license to open the first casino in the valley. All he needs is someone brave enough to trek his request to Shady Sands.

Monroe Splitters

Monroe Splitter runs Harlie's. He did not come up with the name but found it etched all over the side of the building. Many travellers think the tall, bald man is Harlie, but he is just Monroe, a masterful businessman. He is well-liked by most of Woffo, providing anything the town needs, from minor medicines to preventatives. However, his real income comes from providing heavy weapons to the Towns lesser element. He keeps stock under the counter, full of C-4, Grenade Launchers, and Missile Launchers. An explosion in the area is likely due to his illegal weapons.

Shiv Alex

Shiv is the head of the militia, a bulky man with flat-top blonde hair and shining blue eyes. He wears a non-standard mercenary outfit, differing him from the rest of his militia. He carries a 9mm sidearm and a service rifle on his back, finding its' control better than the raw power of an assault rifle.

He is an amiable, strangely moral fellow who follows the mayor because he believes it is better than letting the town's various interests ruin themselves. He does not know about any illegal activities in town, including the mayor's drug addiction or gambling schemes.


Bernadello runs the local Bordello from the storage Sea-Trains that served as the ancient community's old relic storage. He was born there and had inherited all of the old junk. He sold much of it for Caps instead of NCR Dollars. He runs the Bordello secretly, telling NCR authorities that it is a bar/strip joint. He disdains the NCR, feeling they stick their noses where they do not belong.

Bernadello is a regular-sized, attractive male with shoulder-length brown hair and a manly mustache. He wears a men's red sleepset with a silk robe and a Rattan Cowboy Hat and wields a unique Sawed-Off Hunting Shotgun instead of a sawed-off single or double-barrel shotgun.

Doctor Armand Diego

Armond Diego is the head doctor of this arm of the Followers of the Apocalypse. He is short and wrinkled, like a peach left out in the desert, wearing a Clean Lab coat over A Wasteland Surgeons Outfit and Authority Shades. His head is completely bald, and he chews tobacco.

He is all full of care for the citizens of Woffo. He hates Bernadello for making these poor women into whores in his Bordello. He hates the mayor for outlawing his shipments of medical chemicals just so that the mayor's cronies do not go out of their drug businesses in The Ghetto.

He is very busy lately, trying to cure a new flesh-Rotting disease found in Travellers, NCR soldiers passing through, and some Locals. He will accept any help in discovering the source of this disease. He will be able to give medical supplies to those who help the Followers in any way.

Commander Gabbs Diego

Commander Gabbs Diego is in charge of Whiskey Outpost and is also the last line of defence for his men against the vast amounts of sin in Woffo. Every day, he has posters distributed through the NCR bases in the valley and beyond, giving speeches to the troops he believes have assorted with Woffo's lower elements. He is just getting old, wrinkles appearing around his mouth. His hair is thinning on top, under his NCR Commanders Beret. He wears Authority Glasses and an NCR Mantle Armor.

At a young age, his brother ran off to join the Followers of the Apocalypse, leaving a bitter taste in Gabbs mouth about the whole group. After thirty years of military tours and assignments, he has accidentally reunited with his brother. Their relationship is strained, and he somewhat believes his brother's group has somehow created this disease that so affects his troops.

Grover Mcgee

Grover is missing both his legs and half his left arm, along with his right eye and two testicles. He is burnt all over, has no body hair and no teeth, and is the Bartender at the Hideout. Initially, when he roamed the Boneyard and Bakersfield wastes as a Raider, he lost his left arm chunk to a wandering super-mutant war-party. Undaunted, he went on to lose his eye and testicles in a fire-fight between his raider team and a running force of Paladins from the Brotherhood of Steel. When he finally settled down, he set up his remaining raider team in Woffo under the guise of a criminal group. The militia then rolled in and broke off his legs, then set him on fire and buried him in the lake bed's radioactive mud. He came back agreeing to ally his remaining boys with the town.

He runs the bar well, his one remaining arm still quick enough to get drinks when folks need them. He is often mistaken for a Ghoul, to which he will headbutt the offender and order his men to cut off one of his digits. With the NCR's presence in both the town and his bar, he has had to soften his ways, making it so that fewer people were hurt in his bar, lest he is blamed. He hates trouble now and orders anyone that causes trouble shall be killed out-back.

Lillian Bradugo

Lillian was not born on the surface, instead having been born in Vault 25, "The Hidden Vault". Inside Vault 25 is not like any other Vault; the enormous domed roof provides false sunlight and nightlight. Instead of hallways and rooms, there are houses and streets, with businesses and offices. Thousands live underground, and they all rely on one thing to keep the Vault 25 going: the Solar Generator. It is hidden somewhere in the valley and will likely never be found by any dweller or adventurer.

Lillian was exiled from Vault 25, forced top-side when she was twenty. She joined the Brotherhood of Steel and came back a conqueror. The Brotherhood members act as a private police force, patrolling the subterranean streets and ensuring the people down below continue producing Pre-War objects.

Now eighty and slowly dying of throat cancer, Lillian spends most of her days below the shop in her Vault penthouse, smoking and thinking of how to make sure the Vault does not fail after she dies.

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